TO
ALL MY FRIENDS WHO ARE ALREADY RETIRED OR WOULD BE IN THE PROCESS OF
RETIREMENT SHORTLY.
LIVING
HAPPILY AFTER RETIREMENT
Speech
by P.P.Ramachandran
After
serving in the Reserve Bank for forty long years, retired at the age
of 60
(Post
graduate in Economics from the Bombay University)
I
am thankful to the Chembur Senior Citizens’ Association for
offering me a chance to be with all of you this evening. I regret
that I shall begin with a funereal reference.
Since
death is but part of Life I shall recount this charming story.
In
a tiny village in Kerala, a devout Christian breathed his last and
the local priest being out of station, a priest from an adjoining
village was called upon to deliver the funeral oration. “Ladies and
Gentlemen”, began the venerable pastor with the dead body in a
coffin before him, “Here lies dead before me a rare human being of
this village with outstanding qualities. He was a gentleman, a
scholar, sweet of tongue, gentle of temper and very catholic in
outlook. He was generous to a fault and ever smiling”.
The
widow of the deceased stood up at the end of the Hall and screamed,
“Oh! God! They are burying the wrong man ”.
A
similar doubt can reasonably arise in my wife’s mind about the
qualities of my head and heart eloquently praised by the previous
speaker. Now, I will revert to the subject allotted to me, “Living
Happily After Retirement”.
Retirement
is a problem peculiar to our generation. In the times of our fathers
and grandfathers, retirement was not much of a problem.
There
are three reasons for this.
The
first reason is Life Expectancy. Fifty years ago, the life expectancy
at the age of retirement fixed at 55--was 60. A study of Government
records revealed that very few people enjoyed pension for more than
five years at that time. Most people died before sixty and
consequently spending five years after retirement did not pose any
major problem. Today Life Expectancy at retirement at 58 or 60-- is
75 years which means half of your working life is still left after
retirement. To give you an example two Senior Officers of RBI died at
93 years—35 years after retirement.
The
second reason is the change in the family structure. Half a century
ago most
people
were in a joint family. The day you laid down office, you still had a
large family around you. Surely, in a large family there was always
something you could do that was meaningful and made you feel you were
contributing to the family. Today the family has become
nuclear—husband, wife, children. By the time one retires, the
children have gone away. In good old times, daughters used to get
married and promptly go away. Nowadays sons get married and shift on
and for First Night itself! What is left is the old couple—You for
Me and Me for you. This is not particularly easy to accept and adjust
to after retirement.
The
third reason is the problem of “Roots.” In halcyon days, people
used to have a “native place” and an “ancestral home”. They
looked forward to going there and settling down after retirement.
Today except for Leave Fare Concession purposes, there is nothing
left in terms of native place. People often are confused as to where
to settle.
These
three problems make retirement planning a crucial item. If you have
planned for retirement you can anticipate and tackle these problems.
People are not accustomed to the idea of staying by themselves. If
one asks an audience of prospective retirees and their wives “How
many of you expect to stay after retirement with your children,
hardly one hand goes up. ” So it is a tough problem to think about
old people staying—just the two of them. This makes planning all
the more significant.
The
most difficult problem that we face after retirement is the
psychological one.
When
an executive retires, he is at the peak of his career—his status,
prestige and financial acumen. The moment he lays down office, all
these desert him. He discovers that “Everything becomes Less and
Less”. The first thing he notices is the way his status and
prestige are affected.
Even
at home, the retired person is no longer the important person. If he
demands of his wife an early breakfast, she will promptly admonish
him, “You are retired now. So take it easy. Let those employed go
first!”. He is no longer “Numero Uno”. A friend of mine who was
a Senior Executive in RBI was getting 500 Greeting Cards and Diaries
for the New Year. After one year of retirement it dwindled to fifty
and this year he got ten. Greeting cards and diaries are surely an
indicator of the respect you are held in.
The
most immediate problem on retirement is time-arrangement. We all have
twenty four hours at our disposal, whether we like it or not. When
you are a Senior Executive you work for ten, twelve or even fifteen
hours and you feel “Suppose I had two hours more how nice it would
be!. Life would be easier.” After retirement we have twenty-four
hours and nothing to do! Result –misery and this is one thing one
likes to spread! No man wants to be miserable alone. He will make as
many people miserable as he can. A man who has nothing to do will
harass people around him. Turning on head the Benthamite principle of
maximization of welfare—maximisation of ill-fare!.
There
are two solutions to this problem.
One
is to continue to do the same work one was doing at the time of
retirement.
The
first option is very convenient but where is such an opportunity for
the majority? There is the temptation to wangle out an extension but
this does lead to compromising principles which many succumb to
regrettably. I have seen Senior Officers accepting jobs as liaison
officers and standing outside the cabin of their subordinates and
seek favours from them. But how long-lasting is the solution.
Extension merely postpones the problem. It crops up again quite
swiftly.
The
second option is to do something different,i.e., option to get
another job.
An
executive can get another job provided he is willing to sacrifice
self-respect. Generally jobs are given by the previous employer’s
suppliers. Cases are legion where army, navy, air force officers are
caught for espionage in such employment. In commercial organizations
Officers are employed to get orders and collect bills speedily from
their erstwhile Employers. So you will agree that this is no
solution.
All
of you are aware that the Bard of Avon-- William Shakespeare wrote of
the “Seven
Stages
of Man”. Modern psychologists have abridged it to four and these
are thus.
Before
finding a girl—Spiderman
After
engagement-Superman
10
years after marriage-Watchman
20
years after marriage-Doberman
After
this lighter side I revert to post-retired life. The retired official
is likely to fall into four dysfunctional time options.
The
first is “Withdrawal”. Many retired people, the day they retire
from Office withdraw from Life and within a few months they just pass
away. When you ask a Doctor he will tell you I can give a Medical
term but this is case of “simple lack of will to live”.
The
second time management option is “ritual”. A person can create a
ritual for himself. He gets up at a specific time, does different
activities at a specific time and this invariably results in misery
for others if that specific time frame is not adhered to. While he
has in essence nothing to do, he is trying to make his activities
meaningful. This leads to a meaningless ritual.
The
third option is Pastime. Many people get together and embark on a
combined ritual which is called pastime. This too does not add to the
meaningfulness of life. The last option turns out to be even
mischievous. It is playing games— not physical ones like badminton,
tennis but psychological ones where you try to manipulate people, get
into their problems, complicate them and generally enlarge the
tension around you. Many a respectable person indulges in this and
creates problems where none existed.
The
alternative to these are Functional options.
The
first is become a Consultant. Lurking inside every executive is a
Consultant. But for this considerable expertise is require. All are
not Consultants.
The
second option is to start your own Business or industry. But this
calls for entrepreneurial qualities which an executive may lack. Many
are the cases where lakhs of rupees have turned into thousands!.
The
third option is to involve oneself in professional activities. For
this one must build up one’s position even before retirement. Many
cliques operate to prevent outsiders from encroachment.
The
fourth is to get into spiritual activities. While nobody is required
between you and God, nowadays, we find more and more godmen,
swamijis, pseudo Gurus some even US returned. There is a temptation
to follow some Swamiji or even become one yourself. This is a very
slippery slope. Beware –there are more hoaxes in the religious
field than anywhere else!.
The
last and most meaningful option is to cultivate a Hobby. Use your
creative abilities and do something that you enjoy doing. You should
start this even while in service.
We
live in three Boxes.
First
is the Box of Learning, which starts from birth and goes on till 20
plus.
Second
is the Box of Work which commences at 20 plus and goes on up to 58 or
60—the age of retirement.
Third
is the Box of Leisure. When we are in the Box of Work what is
significant is Status, Prestige, Power—all these we aspire for and
it is what we get from Life. The more we get ---the happier we are.
The day we retire we move into Box 3—the one of Leisure.
If
we have to enjoy this we have to change our psychological position
and appreciate creativity, autonomy and integrity. When you were a
small child of two or three did status, prestige or money mean
anything? What you wanted was autonomy, creativity. A child is always
creative. It enjoys creativity. One example. When visitors come you
ask your child, “Pushpa –Sing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'”.
She will not sing. You shout at her. You tell your visitors proudly
she is three only and knows Twelve Nursery songs. The moment the
guests are gone and your servant comes for cleaning your daughter
will sing to her all the twelve songs. The child has its own values!
By
the time we enter the Box of Work values change. We are not taught to
respect our autonomy but fall in line—conformity is the rule. If
the son plays the violin his Mother will come and tell him, “Playing
the Violin now ?. Study now. Maths is very scoring. If you get centum
admission to IIT is easy. Life is competitive, dear son.”
When
we enter the Box of Leisure values change. Your psychological
position has to be changed. New values of creativity, integrity and
autonomy emerge. Hobbies are an excellent way of getting Leisure
Value. Everybody must identify his hobby that he can enjoy. No bother
about Power, Prestige and Status.
An
individual can live in one box only or interchange or combine the
boxes. You can have learning, work and leisure together. One can even
take up a hobby that is financially productive. As time passes one
learns.
The
real problem of retirement is that people refuse to face the problem.
The mantra is “Let us cross the bridge when we come to it.” This
is not correct. Since we live in three Boxes we must prepare
ourselves for crossing from one to the other. Structuring our time is
the prime requirement. In the beginning you are contributing to
Value. Think of Transfer Value. After retirement you can think of
Leisure Value. Develop good hobbies which incorporates your
creativity, autonomy and integrity. I have taken to Letter writing.
(Rajaji , Kalam and H R F Keating.)
You
will lead a happy life. Retirement is not adding “Years to your
Life but adding Life to your Years”. Retirement is not a calamity
but an opportunity.
I
shall advert to some basic qualities one must cultivate.
There
are two ways to look at every situation in life. Is the Cup half
empty or is the cup half full. One man was not worried about his
becoming bald. He declared “I have less hair to comb!”. Another
man in identical situation moaned, “I have more face to wash!”.
Always
remember that you are loved, even when it does not seem like it.
Believe
in yourself and your values.
Don’t
sell out when things go wrong.
Don’t
let anything get you down.
Always
bounce back.
Set
goals for your future and never settle for anything less.
Realise
that there are others in this world with bigger problems than you.
Appreciate
the good things of Life. Sunrise, Sunset, Flowers, Birds
Be
thankful for the good times you have with your loved ones.
Spend
more time with your family and friends.
Appreciate
the simple things of Life and don’t get caught up in the material
things of life.
Be
an Optimist and see the Cup as being Half Full.
Before
long your attitude will rub of on others. You can make the world a
better place to live by simply making yourself a happier person. You
will permit me to conclude with an allegorical story.
First
God created the Cow and said, “You must go with farmer daily to the
field all day long and suffer under the Sun, have calves, give milk
and help the farmer. I give you a span of sixty years.” The Cow
said, “That’s surely Tough. Give me only twenty years. I give
back forty years.”
On
Day Two God created the Dog and told him, “Sit all day by the door
of your house and bark at strangers. I give you a span of twenty
years.” The Dog said, “Too long time for barking. I give up ten
years.”
On
the third day God created the Monkey and said to him, “Entertain
people. Make them laugh. I give you Twenty years.” The Monkey said
to God, “How boring, Monkey tricks for twenty years. Give me only
Ten years”. Lord agreed. On the fourth day God created Man. He told
him, “Eat, sleep, play, enjoy and do nothing. I will give you
twenty years.”
Man
said, “Only twenty years. No way. I will take my Twenty and give me
the Forty the cow gave back, the Ten that the Monkey returned, and
the Ten the Dog surrendered. That makes eighty. O.K?”
O.K
said God.
That
is why for the First twenty years we sleep, play enjoy and do
nothing.
For
the next forty years we slave in the Sun to support our family.
For
the next ten years we do Monkey tricks to entertain our
grandchildren.
And
for the last Ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at
everybody.
Thank
You All.
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